Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Feeling groovy

The next morning, I decided to get up even earlier and head to another yoga class, a hot one (100 degrees) set to music.  I had done this series before, but not to music, and not at 6am. To my surprise and delight, our training instructor is guiding the practice that morning.   She keeps the lights low, speaks quietly and sparingly.  While the music plays, she cues us into our postures, and does them with us. It is very meditative and slow; quite different from my usual hectic Monday morning getting the kids to school and going straight to work.  This is good. 

I do feel a little unbalanced today, and struggle to hold the poses for the full minute each.  My muscles are shaking the whole way through each one.  Yesterday I was feeling stronger, today weaker.   I know my muscles are tired - today is my 5th day in a row of doing yoga classes, and 10 days into my training program.  I have done about 24 hours of yoga in those 10 days.  Is my body telling me I need to take a day off?  However, I know to get stronger I need to push through the resistence, just as I do in life.  I'm not fighting it, like I usually do.  I am accepting the limitations and where I am, confident I will continue to get stronger, and relaxing into my own practice.  It is not a race, I tell myself.  Enjoy the journey - that is where life is lived.  I am finding I am less critical of myself and more aware, just focusing on where I am and how I can do just a little bit more.

At 45, I am one of the oldest people in my yoga teacher training program, which physically puts me at a disadvantage.  Combined with my recent car accident (4 months ago), and still in physical therapy for injuries sustained in it, I am struggling to keep up this rigorous schedule. However, I do have the advantage of years of yoga, life experience and the wisdom I bring.  Today is going to be great day.  Actually, it already is.

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